(prepared by the Samaritan Center of the Fox Valley)
Love Story, a popular movie of the 1970’s, included the famous line: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” No, It’s just the opposite. Love often means saying you’re sorry, and real love will include apologies by the offender and forgiveness by the offended. This is the path to restored, loving relationships.
We all have a sense of morality: some things are right and some things are wrong. When our sense of “right” is violated we get angry and resentful towards the person who has violated our trust. The wrongful act stands as a barrier between us and the relationship is fractured. We cannot live as though the wrong has not been committed even if we desire to do so. Something inside of us calls for justice. While justice may bring some sense of satisfaction to us, it does not restore the relationship.
Something within us cries out for reconciliation when wrong-doing has fractured a relationship. The need for apologies permeates all human relationships. Without apologies, anger builds and pushes us to demand justice. When, as we see it, justice is not forthcoming, we often take matters into our own hands and seek revenge.
When we apologize, we accept responsibility for our behavior, seeking to make amends with the person who was offended. Genuine apology opens the door to the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Without apology the offense sits as a barrier and the quality of the relationship is diminished. Good relationships are always marked by a willingness to apologize, forgive and reconcile.
Love Story, a popular movie of the 1970’s, included the famous line: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” No, It’s just the opposite. Love often means saying you’re sorry, and real love will include apologies by the offender and forgiveness by the offended. This is the path to restored, loving relationships.
We all have a sense of morality: some things are right and some things are wrong. When our sense of “right” is violated we get angry and resentful towards the person who has violated our trust. The wrongful act stands as a barrier between us and the relationship is fractured. We cannot live as though the wrong has not been committed even if we desire to do so. Something inside of us calls for justice. While justice may bring some sense of satisfaction to us, it does not restore the relationship.
Something within us cries out for reconciliation when wrong-doing has fractured a relationship. The need for apologies permeates all human relationships. Without apologies, anger builds and pushes us to demand justice. When, as we see it, justice is not forthcoming, we often take matters into our own hands and seek revenge.
When we apologize, we accept responsibility for our behavior, seeking to make amends with the person who was offended. Genuine apology opens the door to the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Without apology the offense sits as a barrier and the quality of the relationship is diminished. Good relationships are always marked by a willingness to apologize, forgive and reconcile.
(Excerpt from “The Five Languages of Apology” by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.)
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