Because I’m a Dad …
· I must hold the TV remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the remote has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it. (In an emergency, I can survive by holding a calculator.)
· When I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t an issue.
· I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “Cumin” or “Tofu.” For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up a copy of “Cosmo” or “Better Homes and Gardens.”
· When one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
· I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone.
· You don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.
· I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. You hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? (from Mikey’s Funnies)
· I must hold the TV remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the remote has been misplaced, I’ll miss a whole show looking for it. (In an emergency, I can survive by holding a calculator.)
· When I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t an issue.
· I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store like milk, or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “Cumin” or “Tofu.” For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up a copy of “Cosmo” or “Better Homes and Gardens.”
· When one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
· I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone.
· You don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.
· I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. You hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now? (from Mikey’s Funnies)
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